Glasgow Cinema

300 Reasons to go to the Cinema

2007-03-07T12:19:00.000Z

Ok not 300 reasons but 2. although the first one has 300 spartans in it.
Reason one is called 300, based upon the graphic novel by Frank Miller which is in turn based upon the film 300 Spartans which Miller saw as a 5 year old kid in 1962. Apparently the film is supposed to be visually stunning with an almost shot for shot adaptation of the graphic novel.

Reason two is Outlaw which Lever of ForeverBlueSkies fame has a sneaky little bit part . A hard edged Brit flick dealing with vigilantism. Both movies open on the 9th March, 2, days from now. Catch them if you can.

Night At The Museum: Movie Review

2007-01-05T02:36:00.000Z

After Shawn Levy's woeful Pink Panther remake, he has redeemed himself, kind of. Night at the Museum has Ben Stiller playing a divorced dad forced to drop his fanciful ideas and taking a 'bog standard' museum security guard job in order to pay his rent, and prevent his son from feeling unsettled. Bog standard is what some feel about this movie but I think it rises above that label.

It does have a very familiar feel to it; Ben Stiller does what Ben Stiller does, and there is Ricky Gervais playing David Brent. Actually he's playing Dr.McPhee, the museum director but he doesn't seem to be able to play many characters. The titular museum is the Museum of Natural History, which serves as an great backdrop of characters and times, providing anachronistic answers to questions such as: what would a caveman do with a fire extinguisher?

What is really surprising is the appearance of Dick Van Dyke. My God, he's over 80 and still quite sprightly! He completes the trio of Bill Cobbs, and Mickey Rooney (5 years older than Van Dyke), the outgoing museum guards.

Owen Wilson and Steve Cougan are excellent even thought they have very small roles, and are at each others throats for most of the movie.

There is a lovely Central park scene which gives a Christmassy feeling, and a chance to get out of the museum for a while. The Museum of Natural History is a great place to visit, and this isn't too bad either.It's amiable enough, not a brilliant idea, but the performances make it worthwhile especially Cougan and Owen's tiny tiffs.

DOA: Dead or Alive Movie Review

2006-09-20T02:09:00.000Z

There are only a handful of martial arts movies that can stand up to Kill Bill,
and this isn't one of them. :P It is though, a film that is not going to tax your brain at all. Just sit back and enjoy it for what it is - a sugary dollop of eye candy.

It stars the lovely ladies Devon Aoki (Sin City), Holly Valance, and Jaime Pressly, who are scantily clad for most of the running time (1 hr 27 mins). At times it resembles a computer game in the style of Tekken, or Mortal Kombat, with loud music, and bone crunching THWACK sounds.

The plot, well what passes for a plot rambles along at quite a speed. It's just an excuse for one fight after another, but why not? The duels between contestants are beautifully choreographed with lots of wire work used, so much so, that the fighters seem to spend more time in the air than on the ground. I would recommend this movie for anyone with Attention Deficit Disorder as scenes don't last very long. It doesn't take itself seriously at all, very much like My Super-Ex Girlfriend, but I prefer this one. What's not to like? Babes kicking ass, and sporting samurai swords. :)

Did I mentions that there is beach volleyball?

My Super-Ex Girlfriend Movie Review

2006-08-10T22:47:00.000Z

1And now for a superhero movie quite unlike Superman. My Super-Ex Girlfriend is pants, but it's likeable pants. If you have an evening where you aren't doing much it's an amusing distraction, not too memorable but enjoyable nonetheless. Well, memorable for the line "Why did G-girl throw a shark at us?" if nothing else. I don't imagine hearing that line ever again.

Why would Uma Thurman do a lightweight piece like this? Probably just for the sheer fun of it. She throws herself into the role of neurotic Jenny Johnson, and plays it up for laughs.

Luke Wilson, aided and abetted by his geek friend Rainn Wilson (from the American remake of The Office), is "the love interest". He is an architect who despite his best efforts can't seem to end the relationship with Jenny, causing her to exact revenge in ways only a superhero can.

Every superhero needs an arch nemesis. This film has the unlikeliest of bad guys: the most un-super-villain-like super villain, Professor Bedlam, is Eddie Izzard with an accent that is funny if not always American. This is a spoof superhero movie that wears it's pants proudly on the outside, which was more enjoyable than I imagined.

If you haven't caught any of Monsieur Izzard's stand up routines please do try. I'll leave you with this hilarious titbit from YouTube with Eddie explaining the difference between American and British movies
(Warning contains sweary words):

Superman Returns Movie Review

2006-08-08T22:39:00.000Z

Superman Returns is super. No doubt about it, but is this new movie as super as previous movies? Obviously the 3rd and 4th movies of the franchise pale in comparison (even though I liked Richard Pryor in III) to this newer version directed by Bryan Singer.

Surely if anyone can understand the psyche of a superhero it is Singer, with two X-men movies under his belt. As those were jam-packed with many mutants with extraordinary abilities, a film with only one super being up against a super-intelligent bald villain should really be a walk in the park for (still) young.

Some reviews have been mixed, are people's expectations too high? How could I even dare to hope that it matched the thrill I felt as a 6 year old child; way back then I was blown away, even more so than many of my peers, so was unsure when I heard that a new Superman movie was in production. Funnily enough that old magic is there. From the moment the theatre lights dimmed, and the familiar musical motif sounded, I was transfixed. Even the sound of a popcorn muncher didn't disturb me. My partner, who was bothered by the aforementioned muncher, said my face was agog with amazement for almost the whole running length of the film (154 minutes).

The tagline of the orginal movie was: "You'll believe a man can fly!"
What impressed me about this one was how slow and gentle some of the flying scenes were. Sure, Superman can fly at supersonic speeds but at the more tender moments he displays very soft aerobatic manoeuvres more gentle than before. Almost silent landing with huge bovver boots on is quite a feat. We also see a flashback to when Superman discovers his anti-gravity power.

This super silent flying comes in useful as Superman uses it to be a 'Super Stalker'. Along with X-ray vison he peers into the workd of Lois Lane. The movie mainly focusses on the relationship between Superman and Lois, after his 5 year departure. Kate Bosworth does appear a tad young for the role. She just doesn't have the, well, balls of Margot Kidder.
Brandon Routh on the other hand, is a worthy successor to Christopher Reeve. While not being the greatest of actors, but he was the greates Superman to date because he was absolutely believable in the role, and so is Brandon Routh ( the 6 year old in my head agrees).
Comb away the man of steel's forehead curl and stick a pair of glasses on him and he becomes Clark Kent. Why can't everyone in Clarke's office see this? Strangely enough Routh's Clarke Kent is similar to Reeve's, but his Superman is quite different to Reeve's. Hard to describe just why though, you'll just have to experience it for yourself.

Lex Luthor this time around is played by Kevin Spacey. Accusations of a hammy performance flitted around before the movie release, but Spacey is more badass than Gene Hackman ever was. Playing a super villain such as Lex does require a bit of OTT acting, but not quite as much as Jack Nicholson's Joker performance when Batman returned. How much to camp up a character is a delicate business, but Spacey is still believably evil, with his hatred for the man in blue tights. Parker Posey in her portrayal of Lex's dutiful lackey 'Kitty' Kowalski, for me steps over the line and is too cartoonish.

Lois's all American fiance is played by James Marsden (Cyclops from the X-Men). With his chiselled jaw, and him being the nephew of the Daily Planet editor, does Clark/Superman have too much comptetion.

Bryan Singer has opted this incarnation to stand for "Truth, justice and all that stuff" rather "the American way." The film makers seem to view Superman as a global superhero even though he was brought up in Smallville, USA.

The 40's feel of Richard Donner's first two movies has been recreated here, although it's a little odd to see cellphones being used as well. Also a couple of lines from the original movie have been resurrected, giving us something new and familiar at the same time.

Hopefully it won't be too long before Superman returns again, in the meantime I will have to make do by returning to the cinema to watch this movie again.

Superman Returns Trailer

2006-06-28T16:00:00.000Z

OK, so I went to see X-Men 3 again. What of it? It's not as good as the first 2 X-Men movies but still enjoyable nonetheless. I was going to see something else, but have you ever gone to the cinema and the next unseen movie was over an hour away? I chose the easy option and went to see the film I'd already seen and knew I would like. Maybe it was to satiate my superhero cravings until Superman Returns is released, I don't know.

As a kid I often wondered what would happen if he got shot in the face or the eyes. The trailer finally answers that question. Wow!

Thankyou for Smoking Movie Review

2006-06-27T23:41:00.000Z

Or "thankyou for eating", was what I was thinking for the first 39 minutes of this movie. Sitting opposite me on the other side of the aisle was the loudest popcorn muncher I've ever heard.

Anyway, to the movie: it's a satire about the cigarette industry quite unlike "The Insider." Nick Naylor, excellently played by Aaron Eckhart (Erin Brockovich, In the Company of Men). He plays "the Sultan of Spin" for Big Tobacco, the VP for the Academy of Tobacco Studies. A lobbyist who, by his own admission, has "a moral flexibility" that most people will never have.

He is a likeable fellow, so likeable in fact that even "Cancer Boy" is making friends with him on a talk show, when Nick's employers sell the very things that made the boy ill.

Nick has regular lunch meetings with "The MOD Squad" (Merchants of Death), a group of 2 other lobbyists who represent the alcohol and arms industries, competing for the highest death toll.

Playing another reporter, Katie Holmes (Batman Begins) tempts Naylor into divulging more than he would ordinarily. She asks why he does what he does. Indeed, everybody seems to think the same thing. Why a man of his intelligence and verbal dexterity would work for a company responsible for killing 1200 Americans daily. Is it just to pay the mortgage as he suggests, or does he enjoy the Machiavellian scheming?

Deep down he seems to be a good guy, taking his son on trips with him (he is divorced), teaching him what he knows: "If you are argue correctly, you are never wrong". A very rugged Marlboro Man is Sam Elliot, dying of cancer. Not content with just trying to pay him off to gag the sick man, Nick then goes onto teach him to spin the situation to the best effect.

Rob Lowe is great in a small role as a Hollywood big gun who Nick tries to sweet talk into putting cigs into the hands of film stars. Not much sweet talking is necessary, as Lowe says his place is not to judge. Unfortunately this doesn't pan out, we don't see film stars with fags in their hands, in those movies or even within "Thankyou for Smoking".

This is an intelligent movie that is laugh out loud funny, definitely worth a watch. An interesting aside: The popcorn muncher turned his phone on before the end of the movie was finished, just in time to be left a little note about the possible danger of cellphones in the future. :)

X-men 3 : The Last Stand Movie Review

2006-06-14T10:57:00.000Z

Having heard that Brian Singer, director of the first two X-men movies, had gone off to film the new superman returns movie, and left this in the hands of Brett Ratner, I was not expecting too much from this. Not that Ratner's previous movies (Rush hour 1 & 2, Red Dragon) are that bad, but because I enjoyed X-men 1 & 2 so much.

It opens with two flashback, one 20 years ago filling in the some of the backstory with Jean Grey, and 10 years ago introducing a new character, Angel, to the audience. One of the problems of the X-men films is that there is just so much material in the comics, where does one begin. A director has to really love the material to be able to pull this off. New mutants are introduced, Multiple Man, a lesser known character of the Marvel universe, and Juggernaut, I'm sad to say, played be Vinnie Jones, who seems to be wearing a musclebound suit. I cringed every time he opened his mouth. Nightcrawler from the second movie, is notable by his absence, although I though I glimpsed him on a church roof, but it might have been the Lizard.

This 'episode' centres on the return of Jean Grey aka Phoenix, a possible cure for the mutant gene, and tries to tie up multiple story threads nicely together. I don't think it quite works but would happily sit through another viewing.

If someone had suggested Dr Frasier Crane to play a muscly, furry, blue mutant I wouldn't have taken them seriously. But Kelsey Grammar does a great job (like the voice casting of David Hyde Pierce in Hellboy)playing Beast an intellectual mutant in the Cabinet. Is it a token acceptance? Mutants seem to be accepted, but ever ready to shake things up is Ian McKellen, delivering another serious but theatric performance. Like his character Magneto, I think that McKellen enjoys these over dramatic fireworks. Why transport a number of mutants on a few cars, magnetically clamped together when you can move the entire Golden Gate bridge? Less is more with some forms of art, but more is definitely more with Magneto. His (and Pyro's) particular brand of Molotov cocktails near the end of the movie amused me.

The setting of San Fransisco seems apt, as the mutantcy question has undertones of comparing it with homosexuality. Mutants are divided, some see it as a gift, while other a "corruption of healthy genes", a curse to be removed.

I first heard of the Phoenix character when reading the Secret Wars comics in my teens and the strongest image imprinted in my memory is of an apocalyptic kaboom in the shape of a phoenix firebird rather than a mushroom cloud. I was wondering if this would be represented in the movie, but alas, (or maybe just as well) didn't appear. Some things that work in comic books don't translate to the big screen a vice versa. Some of the costumes are better than in the comics, while others seem oddly reminiscent of Charlie's Angels.

Wait until after the credits roll until you leave the cinema because something X-tra special is waiting for you. Will this "Last Stand" be the last X-men movie, the comic fan in me hopes not.

China Pulls the Da Vinci Code

2006-06-11T12:28:00.000Z

The Chinese government has put a stop to screenings of the Da Vinci Code.
It grossed over $13 million before being pulled. It had only be released for 3 weeks!
The Chinese authorities have not given a reason for their decision and are not expected to.
Is the movie "culturally polluting" or maybe the authorities saw the movie and agreed with most of the downbeat reviews.

The Omen 666 Movie Review

2006-06-09T11:31:00.000Z

I know, I know: 3 days late posting this. That was intentional for all those hexakosioihexekontahexaphobics out there (afraid of the number 666). So the 6th June has passed and nothing really, really bad has happened ( at least not to my knowledge).

It was a warm summer's evening last night, not hot as hell, but pretty warm in the packed cinema. How packed? Anyone's guess but I'd venture the high six hundreds, although I have been know to exaggerate.=P People were coming in during the trailers and even 5 mins into the start of the screening, standing up blocking views. An annoying woman was using her mobile phone intermittently throughout the showing. Not quick calls but one was quite lengthy, until thankfully she was warned by someone closer, before I did my fire and brimstone bit, breathing fire down here neck. No doubt the dialling code she used was prefixed with a +666. The chap directly to my right agreed with me and disliked this intrusion; unfortunately he had a "whistley nose", the type with bad sinuses who would probably snore like satan at the drop of a hat.

Anyway the plot as you probably know is a mix of babyswapping, politicians, numbers on heads, a small scary dark haired boy, and big scary dark haired dogs dripping saliva.
Nothing seems too surprising watching the movie, other than the few seat grabbing jumps. This is probably because I've seen the original, but it remains very watchable, due to the fine actors, Pete Postlethwaite, David Thewlis, and Liev Schreiber, who I last saw in the Manchurian Candidate. Schreiber plays the Gregory Peck part from the original, and Julia Stiles plays the Lee Remick character. Styles is a little, ok a lot wimpy in this. She just didn't seem to have a lot to do, or maybe I was a little annoyed that she didn't seem to have a inkling her Son had Satanic origins, when even the monkeys in the zoo could tell.

After a 'freak' accident in Italy, Schreiber takes on a job as ambassador to Britain. The couple move to a big house in England. "Bad big?"Stiles asks, no just "big big" says her hubby. But as we find out later, "big big" is definitely "bad big". Born or 'placed' into a political family, "the eternal sea" in prophecies, Damien is well positioned for world domination unless he can be stopped. Not really surprising that; whenever a politicain says that "there is nothing to be scared of, I promise," start to worry.

Nicely shot we see dusty hues of Rome, and stark red and white dream sequences. Red is also used in Thewlis' photography darkroom. More for production design I think than reality, as other light from windows is getting in. He uses digital and film cameras, so there should be no need to show darkroom shots, but there is still something magical about seeing an image appearing in a bath of developer. Jaws 2 always springs to mind when I see that in movies.

Using brief snippets modern day footage of the twin towers and floods seems to cheapen these events, just to use them in a marketing tie in is a touch indelicate in my view. Is this film essential viewing; not really, but enjoyable all the same. The updated effects make it much less hokey than the original. I'll bet a sequel is being made for next year, only when will they release it? on 06/06/07 or 07/07/07. Now is there a word for a 777phobic ?

Movie Trailer: United 93

2006-06-04T02:20:00.000Z

Afterthought: while going to see the Da Vinci Code there was a trailer for United 93. We all watched the trailer which included real news footage from that tragic day. Afterwards there was a stunned silence in the movie theater. Was the lack of noise a hushed reverance for the memory for all of the people who last their lives almost 5 years ago? Possibly, but I think not. It seemed to be a very strange quiet as everybody in the cinema sat there thinking "That's a really bad idea."

Half a decade on and the events of 9/11 are still strongly felt. This film will probably attract a lot of people, but it still seems to soon to be making this kind of movie while tensions have not dissipated and conspiracy theories abound. For example, take a look a 911 loose change.

Hopefully it will do justice to the fallen, what do you think?

16 Blocks Movie Review

2006-06-02T11:57:00.000Z

Bruce Willis and Mos Def star in this capable enough movie. A very tired Jack Mosley, (Willis) has to transport a prisoner called Eddie Bunker (Mos Def) to the court to give evidence. What Def knows puts both of them in danger. But can they survive long enough to deliver the goods? After all the courthouse is only 16 blocks away, hence the movie title.

Solid performances from everyone, even though Mos Def adopts a whiney, nasal voice, which, even though we are used to hearing it from many Glasgow neds, does grate a little at times.The excellent David Morse, also appears as the bad guy/former partner of Willis.

Bruce looks very old in this movie, it's really quite amazing how a moustache can age a guy.

Da Vinci Code Movie Review

2006-05-31T06:37:00.000Z

After my ramblings about the flashlight in the trailer, eventually Bulbgirl and myself got round to seeing the Da Vinci Code movie. This doesn't seem to have had any good reviews, but undeterred we set off to the cinema (the UGC in Renfield street). There's been all sorts of hu-ha about this movie, even before it came out. A nun was protesting on church steps, and in India there has even been disclaimers put up before the movie saying that it is a work of fiction.

What I saw before it started confirmed this:
"Responsibility for allowing under-12s to view lies with the accompanying or supervising adult." :D

How can you not like Amélie smacking the head of Gangster #1 off the floor? Sorry for that little spoiler but I'm sure it won't ruin your enjoyment of the movie. It might make you want to go and see it all the more.

Anyhow, it opened with some lovely shots of Paris (is it possible to make Paris not look lovely?). Tom Hanks is signing copies of his book right beside a lamp that is prominent in series one of 24, but I digress. There are scenes of self flagellation more violent than in the Name Of The Rose, Bulbgirl winced at these moments but they were brief.

Seeing the Louvre after dark is great, I for one would like to stroll around there without all the tourists. Louis in Interview with the Vampireby Anne Rice speaks of doing this. Unfortunately we only see a glimpse of 'The Oath of the Horatii' and a couple of the Da Vinci paintings before the movie rolls on.

Jean Reno is a policeman who is investigating the murder in the Louvre of a Harvard symbologist. Reno is miles better here that in the God awful remake of the Pink Panther.

Is it a bad movie? Certainly not, but many criticise the performances of the two main leads, Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou. True, they don't really sparkle on screen, but I think that is mainly to do with having so much to pack in to the movie. It seems like event after event after event, that is until the arrival of Ian McKellen who does sparkle, at least more than the others, enlivening the movie for me until his character seems to turn pantomime like later on.

Paul Bettany, delivers a good turn as Silas the psycho monk, so does Alfred Molina as Bishop Aringarosa, which kept making me think of "ring-a ring-a-roses", strange name.

The sweeping score by Hanz Zimmer reminded me towards the end of the film, of the work of Trevor Horn on Last of the Mohicans, no bad thing.

What I did like: Tom Hanks saying that he "got a wagon" as a gift, reminded me of his funnier turn as part of Woody's Round Up in Toy Story

What I didn't like: Tautou's miraculous ability to cure claustrophobia with a rub to the temples, and A-team like shooting with no one getting shot. Surely someone smart enough to prevent a security van door shutting while a bad guy has a gun pointed at their face, is also smart enough to pick up said gun from said bad guy when it falls on the ground?;
dodgy effects of ghostly figures walking beside the living on their way to the Cathedral.

That and someone eating crisps half a row away, CRISPS SHOULD BE BANNED FROM CINEMAS ALONG WITH ANY WOMBLE WHO BRINGS THEM IN. Other than that the audience stayed pretty quite the whole way through, thoroughly engaged mostly.

Definitely worth a watch.

2006-05-30T17:11:00.000Z

Pink Panther.
Don't bother going to see this, especially if you are a Steve Martin fan. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. The normally great Kevin Kline shows up in this too. Why did they bother? A friend warned against going to see this but did I listen? I now extend the same warning to you. I found it so bad I came out of the cinema and went straight back in to see...

Ice Age 2
The star of the show was the little creature trying for most of the movie to obtain an acorn. Some adult humour is mixed in with the kiddy patter, much to my enjoyment, although it was pretty near the knuckle IMO. Excellent animation and fun for all the family.

2006-05-30T16:55:00.000Z

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